Overcoming a Childhood of Abuse and Dysfunctional Living: How I Did It by GARY W. KEITH & JAY GLADWELL

Author:GARY W. KEITH & JAY GLADWELL [KEITH, GARY W.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Ephraim Hill Press
Published: 2020-10-06T00:00:00+00:00

PART TWO

You can’t go back and change the beginning,

but you can start where you are

and change the ending.

- C.S. Lewis

TEN

The Need for Change

If you’re like me, there are many things you enjoy feasting on, like Italian food, sports, movies, and books, to name a few. But change isn’t one of them. Moving out of my comfort zone isn’t too far removed from my first visit to the dentist. Most of us don’t want to make waves or rock the boat. It’s so much easier to maintain the status quo. No matter how painful it may be, our current circumstance is familiar. And dare I say we find some level of comfort in it? That’s because most of us, like water, take the course of least resistance.

The “Big Secret” for me in overcoming a horrendous childhood was not taking the course of least resistance. I had to step out of my comfort zone. I forced myself to choose the right path, and once in a while it leads uphill, at least it feels that way. I’ll use my little brother as an example of what I’m talking about. You know I loved Kevin with all my heart. He was the sole blood relative I had with me throughout my ordeal. Everything I wasn’t, Kevin was. He was gregarious, muscular, good looking, and fearful of no one.

After Bishop Beasley left and I had my own car, I invited Kevin to go to church with me. Nearly every Sunday he was right there in the seat next to me as we’d drive to church. This is the way it was until I left for my mission. At the age of sixteen, he decided church wasn’t for him. One of his problems was he hung around with the wrong crowd. They were a bad influence. I can’t tell you how many letters I got from Momma and Peggy telling me how Kevin was out of control, getting into trouble, and being disobedient.

He was young and dumb and full of fun. He thought he was invincible. Kevin started drinking, doing drugs, and skipping school. Finally, he dropped out of school and had a child out of wedlock. He didn’t know the meaning of commitment, loyalty, or stability. In and out of jail most of his adult life, I’d swear his jail cell must’ve had a revolving door. He had a good heart, and he’d help you if you were in need. But he couldn’t stay out of trouble.

Kevin was an addict. If it was bad for him, he was addicted to it. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around it. We sat at the same dinner table growing up. He and I had the same DNA. We both had the potential for addictive behaviors. The only thing that made us different was the choices we made. When we came to the legendary fork in the road, I went to the right; he went to the left. It broke my heart to see him make all those bad decisions.

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